My real name

blessedharlot:

Okay.

Y'all.

I was there.

It was before the internet. I had so very, very little to go on. So few clues. I had to work so hard to understand anything about myself.

All I saw around me were a fuckton of straights and a handful of gays and lesbians.

Pretty much every single one of them said I MUST ONLY be attracted to one gender. There was no other choice. I must be confused.

I had no idea that I could be nonbinary trans, I had no idea anybody could be. I had no idea there were more genders. My own life would have been immeasurably better if I did. I had no words for any of that. It would be years and years before I did.

A lot of us were in that sitch and all we knew was that their rigid categories were bullshit.

We picked “bisexual” because we were trying to encompass MORE THAN the separate pieces. We were trying to reach ACROSS all these categories we were supposed to pick from and thats the best word we could figure at the time. We were trying to fit it ALL in.

We were making it up from scratch. We had gay, straight and lesbian. That was it, y'all. That’s all we could find. We were just tryna get BROADER THAN THAT. Past this rigid choice handed to us.

So a lot of us picked “bisexual”. And we had moments that saved our lives based on that word. So. Yeah. We have an emotional connection to it past what it may look like it means. We have a connection to bisexual history specifically.

Other people elsewhere (later than us, ime, but that’s only my perspective), they picked pansexual. And a different group of people with a very much related movement formed.

Every single “official” or “established” difference in definition between the terms bi and pan that floats around is a retcon. We were a bunch of lost people making up shit as we went to try and stay alive. We came to two different terms. And when we found each other, some people kept their words and some changed them for a whole wealth of reasons and all of that is okay.

The new varying definitions are okay too.

But any insistence that “bisexual” MUST BY DEFINITION erase this or that is absolutely antithetical to the very history of the word. We were trying to encompass it all, all of it, everything, and we did the best we could at the time. And now for better or worse, that word is a part of us. It saved us and we respect that.

Signed, a nonbinary bisexual who was there

stardustflake:

i need to make a post about this because it’s really bothering me.

bisexuality = the attraction to more than one gender, or the attraction to two or more genders, or the attraction to genders same as and other than your own

pansexuality = the attraction to all genders or the attraction to people regardless of their sex and gender identity

bisexuality is not defined as the attraction to men and women. bisexuality does not exclude other genders. bisexuals aren’t any less open-minded and accepting than pansexuals or anyone else in the lgbtq+ community. bisexuality is a sexuality, not a way to reinforce the gender binary.

many people seem to think that bisexuals aren’t aware of non-binary people or that they think there are only two genders.

this is because

1. the term bisexual is older than the term pansexual, and at the time the word bisexual was first introduced, it was defined as the attraction to males and females, because the term non-binary wasn’t something people were aware of. fortunately, many people today understand what gender binary and non-binary mean and because of this, the definition and meaning of bisexuality have evolved. saying bisexuals are only attracted to men and women is the old way of thinking.

2. bi in bisexual means two, and people always like to rely on this and say that it literally means two, as in men and women. if you really have to use this as an argument, the two you’re referring to means same as your own gender and other than your own gender. that makes two groups without excluding any genders.

3. pansexuality is always thought of as the gender-blind label that includes everyone whereas bisexuality is seen as only including men and women, boys and girls, males and females. which, like i said, is not true, so please destroy this way of thinking. it’s not helping anyone.

you can identify as both bisexual and pansexual. you can identify as bisexual but feel like the word pansexual could also describe your sexuality accurately. you can identify only as pansexual. 

the difference between these two is slight but it’s there. so maybe instead of trying to tell others what their own sexualities are supposed to mean to them or what they should identify as, give everyone the freedom to identify themselves however way they feel is right for them. especially people who are neither bisexual nor pansexual can stfu and stop defining our sexualities for us thank you.

(Source: blue-whatever)